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tarakate108 tarakate108 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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A bit overwhelmed!

Hi everyone

Just looking for a bit of reassurance I think. I overheard my dad basically telling my mum that he doesn't think I can do this, ie make a success of the business. I have suffered from depression for most of my life and although I'm much better it is a bit up and down sometimes. I believe I can do it, and I know that there will always be people who have doubts, and also that he is saying these things because he cares, but he never actually says he has faith in me, and that has dented my confidence a bit, especially as he has been hugely successful in business and has a real entrepreneurial spirit. I on the other hand have no business background whatsoever and am literally learning every day how stuff works.

Does anyone else get days where they are suddenly not as sure as they thought they were? Some days the full impact of what I'm doing suddenly hits me and I'm really scared and doubtful! This is never enough to put me off (nothing like!) but it'd be great to hear from anyone who knows what this is like, or has been through this and still made a success of their venture.
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ECI ECI is offline
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Add me to msn, my name at hotmail.com

I am about just now, and can offer some advice.
Stuart
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moneyman's Avatar moneyman moneyman is offline
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get used to it. even after 20 odd companies you will still get things wrong and doubt yourself.

See if you can get yourself a mentor. Basically a father sort of figure who you can chat to. If he is any good he shouldnt interfere too much but just keep you on track with the odd bit of advice. Normally it is just someone to pick you up and keep pushing you on those days you cant think what to do.

Secondly. Dont put too much store into your business. You want to look at your life as an entrepreneur as the aim and not concentrate too much much on a particular business. That way you dont feel that it all hinges on this idea you have but takes into consideration the fact you will learn as you go along. So if one idea doesnt work the next (with the experience behind you) will. I bet your dad was never a great success in his first venture. Most people who are now sucessful have done loads of stuff with differing levels of sucess before latching onto the big moneymaker.

Thirdly depression requires routine. get up and hit the stereo onto a decent track or two of loud upifting music (whatever works for you) then get into a routine of doing the same thing every day. shower, downstairs coffee toast.....etc etc. write list of jobs to do you will find after a couple of days that nomatter how you felt when you got up. one hour later when you sit at your desk you are in the right frame of mind. then start thework routine half an hour emails then post then.......
no time to think thn no depression keep busy...been there done that. i made half million plus by the time i was 30 and my mum was still pressing me to get a good job!
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Cann_Print Cann_Print is offline
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HI TaraKate

Your Dad more than likely said those things because he is very worried about you. I have 5 kids and no matter how old they get Iíll always worry about them.

Your Dad is a successful businessman so he knows exactly what business is like. He knows about the stress, the pressure and how lonely it can be at times. Donít get me wrong business is so much fun as well. I get so much satisfaction from my work. My business drives me on. It motivates me to wake up in the morning and get on with it so I can provide for my family.

Depression is a highly complex illness and affects people in a whole range of different ways. I donít know too much about it, only knew a close friend who suffered from it a few years ago and she went through a very tough time indeed. When things were good she was on top of the world, life and soul however when things were bad she lost all motivation and stay for days in bed.

I can see where you Dad is coming from. When you start a business you take on responsibilities, to staff, to clients, to landlords, to suppliers and to banks. If you suffer from the type of depression my friend suffered from you canít really afford to stay away from your business for days on end without any explanation or reason, if this happens your business will suffer, you could end up losing everything.

I donít want to put you off but please give it some serious thought about what your getting yourself into. Seek advice from family and friends.

Mibby put a plan in place for when ever you do feel unwell. Ask family or friends to help you out if you are ever unwell and they can cover for your until you feel better.

Iím sure there are loads of business people out their who suffer from the same illness. Track them down and find out how they get on.

Kind regards


Andi McCann
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amy_517 amy_517 is offline
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If it's not too awkward to admit you overheard him, maybe you could make use of your dad's experience to help with your own plans? He might feel better about the whole thing if you actually approached him for advice and took on board some of what he has to say, without letting him be too negative overall. (I know., though, this would work great with some parents and be a really bad idea with others...)

For what it's worth, my parents seem to have very little faith in me : ) as far as they're concerned, I think they're happy that my husband has a decent job and I'm provided for that way. Husband OTOH is fantastic and believes in me 100%. <3

I was in almost exactly your situation a few years ago, drop me an email if you'd like to talk about it - amy (at) blueprintanimation.com

But the short answer is yes! sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night thinking OMG I can't be serious, what was I thinkiiingg!!! but the further I go with the whole idea, the more encouraging people have been, and the more I believe it will actually work.
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Incepto Incepto is offline
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My parents used to tut and roll their eyes when I informed them of all my ideas, and had very little faith in me.

Now they understand that I will never be a career type of person and realise that having my own business is all I am interested in, so they don't really have a choice but to support me.

Don't get downhearted, just prove your dad wrong!
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tarakate108 tarakate108 is offline
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Thanks all of you for such supportive and sensitive comments. I was a bit unsure about talking about such private things but I'm really glad I did now. Some days you just need some back up you know!

Andi you are right about giving it serious thought, which I have done, but I want to do this so much, and if I don't I'll always be wondering, and it'll be like the depression has won. I really appreciated what you said; it's always important to hear both sides.

Wierdly, pretty soon after I wrote my post, my dad came in with my business plan which I'd asked him to read before everything happened, and he seemed to have done a complete turnaround! He was supportive and said he was proud of me and thought my business plan was excellent! Very strange.... (But I was so happy!)

But still, thanks all for backing me up at a bit of a wobbly moment!
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irishnutter irishnutter is offline
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hi tara , i also have had to put up with the lack of support of my parents, ever since i was 14 , i wanted to be in business and wasnt shy to express it. While other kids wanted to be a fireman etc , i wanted to be a business man and was always selling stuff at school lol My parents have always frowned at the idea , and pressured me so much to do well at school and then college , though doing really well at both school and college, then pressured into to going to university, i finally cracked and rebelled and followed my own path. The frosty stand off between myself and my parents still continues today , and it led to me leaving ireland to gain the peace and quiet to focus on my business etc. I still aiming to win over their support but looks like i have to do it the hard way which suits me fine, i have always been a strong independent person and not the one to let anything stand in my way , and the more i break away the stronger i get. My advice stick at it as success only comes to those who try and try again , and challenge the set backs and take the game to them, and in time all the rest will come when they see how well you have done.

good luck
dave
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tarakate108 tarakate108 is offline
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I really admire you Dave for sticking to your guns without the support of your parents. That must be really hard, but you seem to be doing very well in spite of it. Very brave to move away to follow your dream. You really deserve every success.
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irishnutter irishnutter is offline
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hi tara thanks for your kind words
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